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Archive for May, 2015

A story of a difficult boss and how someone handles it who doesn’t want to leave her job.

“I loved my boss,” said Marie. “She was respected by everyone. She thought highly of my work. She thought I was smart. Then my boss left the area and I was assigned a new boss. This boss is unbelievably difficult to work with. She acts as though I’m stupid and I can’t do anything right. She’s always on my case about something. Not a day goes by when she doesn’t make some snide remark or send me a memo that implies I’m an imbecile.”

“I like what I do and I don’t want to quit my job, but my job is very stressful because of this woman. The way I cope — I try to ignore her rude comments. Sometimes I get very determined and I put in extra hours trying to please her, to show her what a good worker I am. I tell myself, ‘I’m a good person no matter what she thinks.’ Sometimes I call my sister in the evening and complain to her. I count the people on the job who like me, and once in a while I go to lunch with my old boss, who helps me feel good about myself.”

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When your mate is overweight, best keep your mouth shut if you hope to have a good relationship.
Is your mate overweight? Do you try to monitor what your husband or wife eats? If so, you’re probably caught in a not-so-nice power struggle.

A woman told me that she had bought a chocolate cake but needed to hide it so her husband wouldn’t eat it. As she’s talking I’m thinking, “The guy’s almost 50. He should be the master of his food intake. Her telling him what to eat is not going to make him a happy camper. He’s going to resent it. She’s putting herself in the bad guy category because when she directs her husband what to eat and not eat, he feels resentful.”

When given this kind of feedback many women respond, “Yes, but I don’t want him dying on me because he has clogged arteries and is overweight.” What I say: “I doubt if your harping is going to keep your husband alive. Besides, you’re not with him every waking hour. If he wants to eat or overeat, he will. He’ll just do it behind your back. In policing one’s mate, you become the nag while your mate becomes the sneak. Ridiculous!”

If your husband is overweight or has a health problem and should not be eating certain foods, it’s up to him to restrict his diet. The best way you can help is to have healthy food in the house and provide a good example by eating healthily yourself.

Here’s another frequent weight issue. A woman’s angry because her husband wants her to lose weight. She’s put on 60 pounds in the last four years and he no longer finds her attractive. She is angry and asks if it’s fair for him to expect that she lose weight.

Gaining or losing weight has nothing to do with fairness. If your boyfriend, girlfriend or spouse finds you unattractive because of the extra pounds, and you want to be attractive to him or her, then it’s important to lose the weight.

What about the father who’s unhappy with his teenage daughter about her weight? He should stay away from the weight issue except to provide good role modeling by eating healthily. Teenagers who are overweight are painfully aware of the fact. Comments such as, “I thought you were watching your weight,” or “You’d really be beautiful if only …” do not serve parent or child. You also don’t want to chip away at the already fluctuating self-esteem that many overweight teenagers have. Instead focus on your child’s attributes and decide to look beyond her weight.

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