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Archive for October, 2016

Dear Doris,

My wife continually badmouths my parents who we hardly ever see and live 500 miles away. Needless to say I don’t feel very close to my wife when she does this. How can I get her to stop?

Tell her you love her but you also love your folks. Each time she badmouths them, she chips away at your good feelings for her. In other words, she’s killing your love for her by badmouthing your folks. Or as the saying goes, “Death by a thousand duck bites.”

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Pouting closes off communication channels between parent and child.

Dear Pouting Parent,

Did you know that pouting closes off communication?

Pouting says I refuse to be close.

Pouting is a form of anger.

Parent, you can’t fix the problem when you pout.

It’s okay to be quiet and back off from your child when you’re ready to chew a nail because of his or her behavior. At the same time, answer your child when she tries to talk to you. If she tries to make small talk, understand that it is her way of saying, “Let’s be friends” and her attempt to get back in your good graces.

At some point, discuss her infraction and what you would like to have happen differently in the future. For example, you might say, “I’m very disappointed in the way you acted when your friends were over. As an apology and a gesture of good will, I’d like you to take out the trash and shred that stack of papers in my office. Once you do these chores, I’ll put away my bad feelings, and we can be friends again.”

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