Feeds:
Posts
Comments

Posts Tagged ‘hosting’

The house guests are coming. Most people look with anticipation to the arrival of their guests. Within three or four days of that arrival, most people start looking to their departure. This rapid change from “I can’t wait till they get here” to “I can’t wait till they leave,” is prompted by several factors.

Most people are creatures of habit and need a certain structure in their lives. House guests change the familiar schedule. And as the days pass, the desire to get back to normal increases.

Most people also need privacy. When you add two, three, or four additional people to most houses, privacy is difficult. You can’t walk around the house as you’re used to; you can’t spontaneously discuss personal business.

Usually however, guests wear out their welcome with their own inappropriate behavior.

Here are a few hints I’ve collected from some disgruntled hosts. You might title their list

“How To Be a Good House Guest.”:

  • Make sure you’re invited. You may feel an overwhelming need to visit us, but do we want to see you?
  • When you arrive, check out the lay of the land. Don’t immediately start distributing presents.
  • Don’t expect us to always wait on and entertain you. If this is the kind of vacation you desire, go to a resort. These are my vacation days, too.
  • Leave your pets at home. And leave my pets alone. It aggravates me to no end when you tease my dog.
  • Although your stories are interesting and I love the fact that you’re well read, don’t fill every minute with talking. I like to be together without having to talk sometimes.
  • Please don’t ask me if you can smoke in my house. You know we don’t smoke. Your asking automatically sets the tone for a bad visit. If I say no, you feel annoyed. If I say yes, I feel annoyed. And please don’t throw your butts in my yard for me to pick up later. The last time you came, I picked up 217 butts.
  • Don’t ask me how much things cost. It’s none of your business.
  • Plan a day trip with your family alone. This will give us all some space.
  • Don’t keep the washer and dryer tied up all the time. I need to use them too.
  • Clean up after yourself. Put your dishes in the sink or dishwasher. Make your bed. Clean up after your children. Strip the beds when you leave.
  • Don’t tell me I need to re-pot my flowers, or cook my roast with a lid on it, or keep my doors locked. Don’t try to run my show.
  • Buy half the groceries, leave money for your half. Remember, we also live on a budget.
  • Pay for your own tickets when we go out in a group.
  • Rent a car. If you do borrow ours, refill it with gas.
  • Respect our bedtime. If you choose to stay up later, that’s fine, just keep it quiet.
  • Please don’t let your children turn on the television or stereo without asking, jump on the beds, chase our pets, put their feet on the furniture, eat in the living room, interrupt our conversations, mess with the blinds, help themselves to food in the refrigerator, or monopolize the telephone.
  • Don’t fight with your husband in front of us. Save the fights for when you’re in your own house.
  • Be grateful. Complimentary. Praise our house. On your return home, send a thank-you note and a gift of appreciation. And as one former host mused, “Don’t take the towels.”

Check out Doris’ latest books, “The Boy Whose Idea Could Feed the World” as well as, “The Parent Teacher Discussion Guide” and “Thin Becomes You”.

Doris’ web page: www.doriswildhelmering.com

Advertisements

Read Full Post »

Last week I talked about how to be a good house guest. This week it’s time to look at how to be a good host. Again, I gathered ideas from a number of people who have felt that their host needed a little schooling in the art of making people feel welcome.

Here are their tips:

*  Find out when your guests will arrive. Try to be home to greet them or let them know if you’ll be late. People sort of wonder if their hosts want them to visit if they have to sit and wait on the doorstoop until their hosts arrive.

*  If your visitors are flying in, pick them up at the airport if possible. If they come by car, keep a lookout, and when they arrive, go out to greet them.

*  When you meet, shake their hands. Give them a big hug. Ask how the trip went. Tell them they look great; you like their new hair-do, their shirt, their purse. Help them with their luggage.

*  When they come in your house, offer them something to eat and drink. Ask if they want to go to their room or sit and visit for a few minutes first.

*  When you show your visitors to their room, a small bouquet of flowers on the dresser goes a long way in making them feel welcome. Also make sure the room is tidy and has clean sheets, tissues, an alarm clock, and a night light. Show guests how the windows work. Have a section of the closet and several drawers ready for them to use.

*  Put clean towels in the bathroom and fresh soap. Some guests  bring their own toothpaste and hair dryers, but many don’t.  So it’s a good idea to have these items available.

*  Explain about house noises and your animals’ habits. “Sometimes our cat jumps up on the bed. Just push her off.”

*  If you have a chiming clock, stop it. You may not hear it chiming every fifteen minutes, but they will.

*  Offer some ideas for fun things to do throughout the week. Give visitors some ideas and ask them to make some choices. “I thought one day we’d rent bikes in town and go biking. Another morning we could play golf, eat lunch in the village, and then take the gondola up the mountain.” Also, ask them what they would like to do.

*  Before your friends arrive, ask what foods they like. Do they eat breakfast? What do they like for lunch?

*  Have the refrigerator stocked, and tell them to help themselves. Have fruit and juices and a fresh coffee cake or brownies ready to snack on. If you’re a tea drinker but you know they like coffee, have a coffee pot and coffee ready. Invite guests to feel free to make their own coffee in the morning.

*  If your friends are staying more than a few days, suggest some places they might like to go by themselves while you attend to your business. This gives  everyone time off to regroup.

*  If your guests have children, tell the youngsters your rules. “Please don’t mess with the fish tank. Don’t turn on the stereo without asking. Stay away from the dog next door.”

Also remember, even with the most compatible visitors, there will inevitably be a few tense moments. Expect them to occur and do some shrugging.

If you follow this list, your guests will feel welcome throughout their visit.

Read Full Post »

%d bloggers like this: